Therapeutic professional support for women navigating partner betrayal trauma

Hi and welcome…

My name is Rachel and I am an Occupational Therapist working in mental health, supporting women who have experienced betrayal trauma. As an APSATS Clinical Partner Specialist Candidate, I provide evidence-based support for women navigating the life-altering impact of betrayal trauma.

I work alongside you to restore your safety, reconnect with your identity, and feel empowered to rewrite your story. Together, we cultivate strength and hope, helping you reclaim who you are and envision a life beyond the pain.

I am deeply sorry you are here but recognise your courage and effort in trying to understand and navigate this difficult world of partner betrayal trauma.

Please have a look through my website. I hope I may be able to support you to navigate your own healing path.

The impact of intimate partner betrayal…

…is gut wrenching, isolating and heart breaking. It shatters the very foundation of your reality, your life and of course, your relationship.

If you are here, you are likely grappling with the discovery (or discoveries) of your partner’s hidden sexual behaviours… whether it’s secret compulsive porn use or repeated physical and emotional infidelities. All betrayals can be shocking, confusing and debilitating. It isn’t just the emotional pain, it is the profound disruption to your sense of safety, identity and trust.

Recognising that you are experiencing betrayal trauma is the first step towards understanding, finding hope and travelling your path towards healing.

So what is intimate partner betrayal trauma?

This type of betrayal trauma occurs when someone you love and have an intimate relationship with, breaks the bonds of trust and loyalty without your knowing and consent. Often the betrayal(s) have been purposefully hidden from you and may include infidelity (sexual acting out, porn addiction, affairs), other deceptions and significant trespasses of your emotional and relational bond.

It is a trauma that is deeply personal and intimate in nature, and therefore is significantly distressing and complex. This type of betrayal can leave you feeling profoundly unsafe and isolated, as it has been caused by the very person in your life who should have been safe.

Following discovery of betrayal(s) it is not uncommon to experience some of the following:

  • Overwhelming and intense emotions (anger, sadness, numbness, fear, worry, shame, despair, confusion, humiliation - to name a few)

  • Intrusive thoughts and re-living of the discovery/discoveries

  • Hyper-vigilance (fight, flight, freeze and fawn responses)

  • Preoccupation with trying to make sense of your present reality but also your past… both of which are now changed or challenged due to the discovery of betrayal(s)

  • Challenges with daily functioning (difficulty engaging in your roles, responsibilities and self-care)

  • Changes to your sense of self and identity

  • Sleep disturbances

  • Physical symptoms

  • Social isolation and a felt lack of belonging

  • Spiritual symptoms (questioning your belief systems)

How can you start to heal from all of this?

Whilst the path of healing from betrayal trauma looks different for each woman, there are few key components that are important to know about and seek support with. One of the most important steps is finding the right support. You may not know who to turn to, or perhaps you’ve already tried various forms of support, but none have fully resonated. Navigating the devastation of intimate partner betrayal - especially when it involves sex or porn addiction - can feel like navigating an entirely different world and speaking a foreign language.

Finding the right therapeutic fit - someone who understands the complexities of betrayal trauma and has specific training in this area is essential. This kind of support can feel deeply validating; helping you to make sense of your experience in a way that truly resonates and that supports you along your own path towards healing.

My approach is grounded in working with you to…

(click through the below headings to read more)

    • Betrayal trauma

    • Sex and porn addictions

    • Your triggers

    • Your safety and support needs

    • Be able to acknowledge and express the unique pain that is betrayal trauma

    • Recognise and appreciate your resilience and coping abilities

    • Set realistic expectations for your healing and the possible recovery of an addict partner

    • Support to explore what healing might look like for you

    • Build and access a safe support community

    • Re-write narratives about your story so that they serve you

    • Separate yourself from the addicts behaviours (understand and believe you did not cause the betrayal)

    • Create small manageable healing steps

    • Find safe and do-able ways to show up in your life

    • Develop healthier boundaries that support your safety and wellbeing

    • Create ways to ‘live in question’ during the acute stages of trauma (when making life changing decisions may not be feasible)

    • Shift the focus back on to your self care and your needs

    • Discover and get to know your core values, strengths and aspirations

    • Begin to learn and trust yourself to navigate the vast and often unpredictable landscape of betrayal trauma

Where heart holds space and hope gently leads.

  • Her Knowing

    Support to explore the depths and complexities of betrayal trauma and if relevant the impact of sex and porn addiction.
    This work creates space for reflection, awareness, and meaning-making - offering a path to begin trusting what is known in the body, mind, and personal story.

  • Her Voice

    A safe and steady place when things feel dark, chaotic, or disorienting. Holding space for your voice to be heard and honoured. This is not a space to carry things alone or in silence.

  • Her Way

    There’s no one path forward. The focus is on supporting reconnection with your inner compass - values, needs, and identity - to navigate new experiences, boundaries, and choices in a way that feels aligned with your self.

Wondering if I can I help you?

Firstly, please have a read of the ‘about’ section of my website. This will provide further information about myself and my approach. Following this, if you are a betrayed partner and curious about connecting with me, please complete this form.
I can then organise a time to contact you via phone for a free 15 minute initial chat. This helps both of us determine if we are a fit. I look forward to hearing from you.

Download my free

‘Surviving the Storm’ worksheet

I hope this is a useful tool to help you start to navigate the early stages of betrayal trauma.

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