What is Occupational Therapy (OT)?

Occupational Therapy (OT) is an allied health profession. OT has a rich history and its roots trace back to the late 19th and early 20th centuries. OT originated in the field of mental health, when OTs emerged as advocates for individuals in mental health institutions. Today, OTs are holistic health professionals working across many diverse fields of health and wellbeing, however no matter the field, OTs are committed to helping you engage meaningfully and purposefully in daily life.

I often describe OT as a practical companion: working alongside you to explore the connection between your personal story, your nervous system, your environment, and your daily routines and roles (what we call “occupations”).

When You're Navigating Betrayal Trauma

If you’re here, you may be dealing with betrayal trauma - the psychological and emotional impact of discovering infidelity, porn use, compulsive sexual behaviour, or other relational breaches.

You might still be in the relationship. You might be unsure what healing even looks like.

Outwardly, you may be “functioning” - going to work, parenting, going through the motions and trying to tick all the boxes.
Inwardly, you might feel:

  • Shut down, foggy, or hypervigilant

  • Stuck in indecision

  • Ashamed, confused, or invisible

  • Unsure what you’re allowed to need or ask for

  • Like you've lost who you were before this

These are not signs of failure. They are signs of survival. And this is where OT can help - by gently supporting you to come back into yourself, your body, and your daily life.

What OT Can Support in Betrayal Trauma?

Many women navigating betrayal trauma are seeking more than just insight.

You might be looking for:

  • A clearer understanding of what’s happening in your nervous system, emotions, and memory

  • Support to function in parenting, work, or everyday life when things feel foggy or overwhelming

  • A way to regulate in moments of fear, shutdown, or conflict - not just later, but as it’s happening

  • Help to recognise and express your needs - especially if they’ve been dismissed or minimised

  • Gentle support to explore identity, roles, and agency - including what kind of partner or parent you want to be now

  • Scaffolding for boundaries, communication, or routines that feel more manageable and safe

  • A path to recover in a way that’s grounded in doing - reconnecting with living, growing, and becoming

How OT Might Support You?

You don’t need to know exactly what you need.
Many women I work with start by simply naming how hard it feels to cope.

This list explores some of the things you might be navigating right now - and how Occupational Therapy can support you in a grounded, practical way.

  • Using sensory and body-based strategies to support regulation in your nervous system and create more safety in daily life.

  • Supporting you to recognise, name, and advocate for your needs and boundaries through reflection, scripting, and real-life practice.

  • Rebuilding routines, rhythm, role connection, and energy in a sustainable way. Using co-regulation to meet own needs along with the needs of those you may need care for.

  • Using pacing, scaffolding, and values-based reflection to support safe decision-making and reduce cognitive load.

  • Understanding what your nervous system needs to then be able to soften into rest. Structuring gentle rhythms that feel manageable, not burdensome.

  • Making healing more integrated into your everyday life, not just another “to-do”. Identifying what you need and want to do, and then finding ways to link healing and recovery work to that.

  • Reconnecting with your strengths, values, and who you are underneath it all. Focus on engaging in the things that give you a sense of worthiness and affirm who you are.

  • Mapping your triggers (emotional, relational, sensory) and creating tools and anchors that support you to feel more steady and prepared.

  • Building emotional literacy and familiarity with your nervous system patterns and needs - learning to notice, name, and respond to what you're feeling without judgement.

A ‘Doing, Being, Becoming’ Approach to Your Healing

This is a framework developed by an OT named Ann Wilcock and I like to think of it as guide to healing. Healing from betrayal trauma isn’t a linear path but one which is multifaceted, personal and unpredictable. If we keep this framework in mind, it can serve as our guide and a reminder to keep on going - as ‘doing’ is the fuel for us to have meaningful experiences and growth that than furthers us along our healing paths.

A Note on Doing, Being, and Becoming

In Occupational Therapy, we often speak about doing, being, and becoming - a reminder that healing isn’t just about insight or resilience. It’s about how we live through it:

  • Doing helps bring structure and rhythm when life feels scattered

  • Being allows space for stillness, reflection, and feeling without pressure

  • Becoming is the gentle unfolding of who you are now — not who you were before, or who you think you should be

Together, these ideas guide the way we work - helping you reconnect with life in ways that are meaningful, manageable, and rooted in who you truly are.



What About Other Tools and Strategies?

While OT has its own strong foundations, we also draw on ideas from other areas of mental health and trauma recovery - especially when they support emotional safety, nervous system regulation, and meaning-making.

Some of the frameworks that may shape our work together include:

  • Trauma-informed care – prioritising safety, consent, and collaboration

  • Polyvagal theory & the window of tolerance – understanding and working with your nervous system in everyday life

  • ACT and mindfulness – supporting presence, self-compassion, and values-based choices

  • CBT-informed strategies – gently exploring thinking patterns or survival beliefs that impact daily functioning

  • Narrative therapy approaches – helping you reflect on identity, disruption, and what matters now

  • Attachment & relational safety principles – particularly in parenting, partnership, and rebuilding trust

These aren’t delivered as standalone therapies - instead, they’re thoughtfully woven into the way we support your functioning, roles, safety, and sense of self.

The OT Toolkit - Practical Grounded Support

Below are some of the practical, occupational therapy-based tools we might explore together - all adapted to support your regulation, roles, rhythms, and recovery.

  • Psychoeducation – helping make sense of trauma, addiction patterns, nervous system responses, and how they show up in daily life

  • Mindfulness & grounding – simple ways to return to the present when emotions take over

  • Sensory modulation & distress tolerance – practical tools to settle or shift emotional states

  • Relaxation techniques – including breathwork, movement, and calming strategies for the nervous system

  • Narrative work – gently exploring your story and what it means for your identity and needs

  • Stress & role management – looking at what’s on your plate and where we can reduce load or reframe priorities

  • Safety & wellness planning – creating steps, supports, and anchors for when things feel too much

These strategies are never used all at once. We explore gently and choose what’s most relevant for you.