When the Present Feels Like the Past: Why Triggers Feel So Intense
Have you ever felt fine one moment, only to be overwhelmed by a wave of emotion the next?
Maybe it was a song, a familiar place, a smell, or even just a passing thought that pulled you back into a difficult memory. You’re not alone - this is what we call being “triggered.”
Triggers can feel like emotional ambushes, making it seem like the past is happening right now. But there’s a reason for this - and understanding it can be the first step towards reclaiming your sense of peace.
Why do triggers happen?
When we experience betrayal or emotional distress, our brain shifts into survival mode. It’s like your body installs a personal “security system” run by a part of your brain called the amygdala - responsible for detecting danger and keeping you safe.
The tricky part? The amygdala can’t tell time. It reacts to reminders of past hurt as if it’s still happening. That’s why a familiar smell, a memory, or even a similar situation can bring back intense emotions without warning.
What triggers can feel like:
A racing heart or tight chest
Feeling trapped, helpless, or on edge
An overwhelming sense of sadness, anger, or fear
It’s not your fault - and you’re not broken. Your brain is doing its best to protect you. But you can help it learn new ways to respond.
So what can you do when triggers happen?
While triggers can’t always be avoided, there are ways feel safer and more grounded when they arise. Here’s a helpful starting point:
1. Pause and Breathe
When emotions hit hard, pause and take a slow, deep breath. This can help settle your body’s alarm system by activating the vagus nerve, signalling to your brain that you’re safe.
2. Name What’s Happening
Silently or out loud, acknowledge the experience:
“I’m feeling triggered right now.”
Naming what you’re going through can reduce the emotional intensity. It tells your brain that you’re aware and in control.
3. Remind Yourself You’re Safe
You may gently say to yourself:
“This memory is from the past. I am safe right now.”
Speaking kindly to yourself can help ground your mind and body, bringing you back into the present moment.
Looking for More Support?
Navigating triggers takes patience - and you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re ready to explore more tools and strategies to help you feel safe, grounded, and connected, reach out. You can rebuild a sense of safety and trust within yourself.
Lastly, you might be wondering do triggers ever go away?
It’s a common hope that triggers will disappear completely - but that’s not how our brains work. Triggers aren’t something we “extinguish” or eliminate. They’re part of how the brain stores emotional memories as a way to protect us.
The good news? Triggers can become less intense and easier to manage over time. With practice, your brain can learn that certain reminders are no longer dangerous, allowing emotional responses to soften.
You might still notice triggers from time to time, but they won’t hold the same power they once did.
Healing doesn’t mean never being triggered - it means feeling more in control when triggers happen.